Every time I get on here I think how do I start? Well today has been an exceptional day. Daegon and I went to eat with my hubby and then we came home. I am trying to clean the house although that is very difficult because we are putting up chair railing in the dinning room and it is taking over other areas in the house. Such a small task and so messy. I think that after it is done it is going to look great. I got a call from the school today and they told me that Dawson was throwing up so here I go mom to the rescue. I get there and he is hurting and pail, he does not look good. So I send him to bed with crackers. I hope he feels better, no school for him tomorrow.
Now get ready because this subject lays heavy on my heart. How do people leave their kids? Our preacher was talking about abortion and if you know me then you know that I am total against abortion. To me it is murder no matter how you look at it. With that being said in my situation it always leads me to questions about how mothers leave their children? I didn't get the pleasure of birthing my older two and even though I met them when they were 5 and 2 1/2 I think of them as my adopted children. An adopted mother loves her kids just as much as her own. Not many people understand that but it is true after raising them, helping them everyday after school, teaching Dawson how to read and write, being at their school everyday, taking care of them when they are sick, punishing them when they are bad and rewarding them when they are good, watching them go on their first date, playing board games with them (we love that), and just everyday things. I don't know if I could miss those moments in my kids lives. I think that Lord everyday that I have with them. I think of Daegon and I don't even want him to go to my parents for a visit. A day apart from him is like a knife in my heart. I think about him every moment of the day. I know that my kids will always be with me until the day that we die. I might even have to follow them to college....Just kidding...Not. So than what do you tell them when they ask you "why does my "biological" mother not love me?". My answer used to be "she does" but the fact of the matter is I can't keep covering for her. Now I say "ask her". My 9 year old can't remember living with her so he doesn't even know who she is. She needs to tell them why she doesn't want to live close to them.
Another question I have is do people live in their own little world or do they really not think that people see what they really are? I mean come on. If you are a fairly intelligent person and you have spent time with someone you should be able to see if they are fake or not. Especially when they talk to other people. I hate liars and when I hear someone lying I just want to stand up and tell everyone the truth. I used to do that, but now I am a little more sensible. I just sit back and wait till the right moment to bring it up. I know that I am not perfect and that I have flaws which, I am trying to make since out of. But rarely do I lie and it is never about anything important. So how do we stop these liars and when is it time to say we have had enough?
If anyone is going through the same thing that I am please don't hesitate to let me know. I would enjoy getting another person's perspective on these subjects.
I am also trying to figure out how to us my web cam. It is cool.